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Showing posts from June 15, 2011

Top Five Things I Should Have Realised by Now

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Apart from the blindingly obvious but undeniably true: No amount of money can secure your happiness, love, well being or publishing contract. 1. Ovens don't clean themselves. Well apparently some do but I'm not blessed with that type.

2.The uttering of the phrase, "Mummy is just having a quick lie down. Please don't disturb me." is not officially recognised in any child's language unless you're having a lie down in a floatation tank.

3. To achieve symphony orchestra like status with your writing you really ought to practise your scales...er scribing every single day. No wonder no orchestra has ever accepted me as a flautist.

4. Your significant other (read common old husband) will never be the literary critic you want him to be. You might as well ask the dog for feedback on your manuscript.

5. Homemade pasta turns out different every time depending on the size of the eggs you use. If only my chooks could grasp this basic concept, I'd be able to ensure …