That was then. This is how...I've changed?

Does time really have the restorative abilities to salve all hurts, tame desires, or alter one's beliefs? Can time really change a person? Or is it what transpires within the passing of time that causes change? That which we call, ageing? The answers to these philosophical musings will not be found here. I barely realise there's been a passing of years; too busy barrelling head on into tomorrow to register now properly, let alone thank yesterday for all that it provided. That was then, this is now, but there once was a time.....

About two decades ago.....

* I shared my zeal for life and empty ramblings, taste in music and love of the sun, with friends on the beach, by the bar, in the night club or in a letter. We roamed in loud, raucous, carefree groups. We laughed and cried...together.

Me & Murray, the Giant Trevaly
Getting a big catch rather than
being one. HI 1992


* We immerse ourselves in individual, insular enjoyment; trainloads at a time, delirious with devices. We ignore our parents' advice and talk happily and randomly to strangers, often faceless and faraway, as though our own existence depended on it. Real life risk and adventures exchanged in furtive one liners in cyber space using words without vowels.

Wind in my hair, water in my shoes.
It's been a lovely cruise - Jimmy Buffet


* The best part of my day was rushing out to the beach after work to bask in the sunshine beneath slapping coconut palm fronds and read a book, for the rest of the daylight hours.


* I read in snatches and get text reminders of when I'm due for a check up at the sun clinic.


* I drank more bourbon, was young, dumb and full of fun, and was careful about how long it took to get ready to go out.


* I drink more coffee, am prone to loud bouts of shouting, which goes largely unnoticed, and am careful to remember to put shoes on before going out.

Anatola, Turkey July 1993
Yes, a lot has transpired since the heady, salad days of my youth on Hamilton Island: before I left to discover cheap Bulgarian red, the Internet, bidets and the truth about the Bermuda Triangle. But has it transformed me into someone different? Possibly the stint in the Bermuda Triangle, but probably not.

Traipsing around the world has more likely strengthen my resolve, sharpened my senses, and fine tuned my desires. That is to say, time has only cemented what was and is, me. I'm no more smarter, nor no more cynical than I was twenty years ago. Just a little more resigned and given to winking with an 'ah yes' expression to other peoples' affirmations. I'm still prone to bouts of idiocy and wanting to dance and sing out loud; I just channel it into Wiggles songs now. And move with more caution.

So after spending precious seconds agonising over whether or not to say Yes, to invite the past into the present, I have finally deduced that it is better to be laughed at and laugh with those that remotely know you or otherwise in this life because I'm not sure if they'll have Face Book in the next one. After all,

Today is just the Tomorrow you were worried about Yesterday.


Anonymous said…
Always remember the past, good and bad, without them we have no future

DimbutNice said…
Thanks for stopping by with that pearl of wisdom. So very true. ;-)
Karen Tyrrell said…
An Insightful Post, Dimity.
Love your Now and Then anecdotes, giving insight into your world view at that time.
I believe every experience, especially the dramatic and "bad" ones molds us into the people and writers we are today ... Karen T.
DimbutNice said…
Karen I believe that's true. (our)Life is like clay, continually being moulded into the final sculpture. The one thing I can state about my life is that I have no regrets. I've felt jolly stupid about some of the things I've done at times; but honestly no regrets!

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